Many people are looking for the most powerful, buttloaded hangover cure drink that blasts away all the pain, replaces all of the lost minerals and gives you the hangover horn all at the same time.
“Is that really possible?” you keep saying to yourself.
Maybe, just maybe.
As well as instantly getting rid of the nausea, headache, skanky bad breath, churning gut and general hangover-induced apathy, the right kind of drink will blast through your scutty excuse of a morning and help you to do one or all of the following:
- Get you up and off to see your chums in the park
- Get you to work and have a relatively normal day (or pretend to)
- Get you to the nauseous, sickly supermarkets or shops full of annoying people who get in your way and breathe on you
- Go to meet your new French girlfriend’s parents for the first time, and eating steak tartare without sneaking off to puke
- Get you down to the pub to start again and get ready for tonight’s party.
Pretty good really a hangover cure drink if it works right?
First up, a warning: Don’t drink coffee.
Anyone who tells you “oh you should drink coffee, because I know everything, me me me” is clearly a liar who has never been drunk.
I have tried coffees with a real hangover and I can tell you, it’s for bullshit munchers. It makes your hangover worse and you get irritable and feel like punching people in the supermarket. F*ck it.
Instead I review a few of my favourite drinks that really do cure hangovers just like a rat that lives in the fridge.
1. Tomato Juice With Egg
This is for relatively painful hangovers where you need help. You may even been taking painkillers like ibuprofren, or you may not but either way,
How Does It Work
Apart from tomato juice being loaded with natural vitamin C that you lost the whole night drinking and pissing, it rehydrates you. The additions boost your blood circulation, get your heart pumping and the cysteine in the egg can help your liver to blast out the acetaldahye which is what causes nausea.
How To Do It
So add to it some salt, pepper, cayenne (or tabasco), garlic, ginger, vinegar and definitely some onion and you’re on. Make sure you add onion as this is a fantastic hangover blaster and cuts straight through your nausea.
Now for the egg; if you don’t like the idea of a raw egg and you’re a pussy, just fry it and blend it once it’s fried. If you don’t even have a blender just break it up and mix it into your juice. You can also fry the onion and garlic for a short time before blending to make it easier to gulp down.
Now drink it down, there’s a decent chap. Feel the revival.
2. Massive Special Tea
So this isn’t just a normal tea. This is a brain massaging tea for moderate hangovers.
How Does It Work
Tea, although it does slightly dehydrate you, has a stimulating effect and clears some of the hangover fog. It’s kind to the tired, sharp hangovers and brings you back to life slowly.
Squeezed lemon juice is pure vitamin C. Cinnammon helps your blood circulation and honey boosts your blood sugar level fast.
How To Do It
Get yourself a huge mug or even a pot ready and put your finest tea in there. It can be black or green tea but it has to be a stimulating tea, not one that sends you to sleep.
Add to your concoction a dollop of high quality honey, a teaspoon of cinnammon and especially add 1 whole squeezed lemon.
Stir it all in, let it brew and you’re away..
3. Cola Bottle Baby
Perhaps most effective used with a painkiller for the worst ever hangovers, a cold cola drink rocks for blasting away your symptoms. And even if it has caffeine in it, it doesn’t seem to matter.
How Does It Work
Cola was originally invented as a hangover cure drink, so don’t be surprised that it helps.
The sugar solves your weakness, cola seems to settle your stomach and some feel good chemicals just wake you up.
How To Do It
Add a squeezed lemon for better effet and drink out of a can or glass bottle. Avoid those nasty plastic crap bottles as they leach chemicals and they taste like shit anyway.
Crushed ice makes it taste even better.
If your hangover is really evil, combine it with ibuprofen.
It’s On…
So there you go, the best hangover drinks around. I don’t fack abaaht do I.
Hopefully these’ll give you some much needed relief in times of hardship.
Roniel says
I am a career alchy . I tend to hang with the hytoadirn answers. The Ibuprophin asprin’tylenol etc. are good answers. But the rest depends on your next day .. For example, you have to work? They were able to? Here you can change your approach. If you have to work, take gynsing and a number of vitamins and Gatorade bear and stay away from caffine, it will give you a head ache and a quick buzz, but will subside and leave you hangin . If you can put the whole day, get up, you might want and eat a good meal (if possible) or a chicken soup, then look benadryl or something to sleep and go back to bed, take the phone off the hook, and sleep through it ..
K says
ThanK you for this website, Matt. I had the worst beast of a hangover today – throwing up every hour – once I managed to keep a banana down, I brewed the tea – I had to use cinnamon powder and it didny look very nice, but Within an hour I was fine. Not just a little fine, but fine fine. 🙂 thank you. You saved my day. Kate.
Matt says
Awesome. Thanks for taking the time to kane through your fog and send me that message. I appreciate your appreciation, Kate. It ain’t no thaaang.