So which one of the levels of hangover are you at?
If you have already read about the multiple causes of hangovers then you’ll realise that as they are so varied, the types and levels of hangover that you can suffer from are just as diverse.
I categorise them into 5 different types:
1. Next Day Buzz
You went out last night, had a few drinks, laughed with your friends, danced a bit and went to bed quite late. Today you feel a little light-headed, but have a happy buzz about you.
With no headache, you just need to drink more water than usual and after a couple of espressos, you feel fine. You do feel hungrier a lot earlier than usual though, being ready for a bacon double Royale with cheese by 11am.
2. Gas Head
Typically following a work dinner which finished late or turned into a club night where bottles of white & red wine were flowing, you went to bed late having mixed your drinks thinking ‘it would all be fine’ the next day.
You weren’t too drunk but the combination of having had congener laden drinks such as red wine and the tiredness of not sleeping much means you have a gas head: a slight lingering headache with tired, dry eyes.
You’re pretty goood when it comes to levels of hangover. You get away with it.
You can’t concentrate properly: it takes you a while to reply to your colleagues as you replay their questions back to yourself slowly in your vacuous head.
You woke up a bit early with a dry mouth and although you keep drinking water, it doesn’t seem to rehydrate you. You eat too much at lunch time, having been dreaming of food all day and then drift into a digestive meltdown state in the afternoon.
All that coffee does is dehydrate you more and you swear that next time there’s a work event, you’ll just turn up smiling and disappear discreetly into the night by 11pm.
3. The Classic
Now we enter real levels of hangover territory. You had a classic Friday night out, drunk too much beer and spirits, maybe had a couple of tequilas at one point.
Your recollections of the end of the night and the taxi ride home are a bit distant and you can’t quite piece it all together.
You still feel a bit drunk the next morning and have a classic next day headache, dry mouth and your guts are moving around a bit.
You don’t really feel fully functional and able to do anything worthwhile until the afternoon though, which reminds you that next time you should have a vitamin drink right after drinking and before sleeping, as hangover prevention is far better than treating it the next day.
4. The Beast
The Beast refers to a particularly nasty condition, high up in the levels of hangover, although not the worst.
If you have to work the next day, which some of us invariably do in this state, don’t expect it to be much fun!
Last night was meant to be a normal night before it turned into vodka & rum filled madness. You can only remember little pockets of what happened after midnight and you don’t have a clue what time it was when you went home.
You know you had a good time, one of those evenings which turns from relative sobriety to drunkeness in the blink of an eye, the kind of turn of events only spirits drinking can induce.
The wake up the next day however is vicious, with the light hitting your eyeballs like one of Darth Vader’s farts, and without Luke Skywalker to protect you, you head for a cold shower cursing the late shots you downed with those friends who influence you all too easily every single time.
Your attempt at breakfast is pitiful with a couple of bites of dry toast and some water. Already being late for work and now feeling nauseous you barely manage the transport train/bus/subway without blowing chunks over everyone in there.
Only pure concentration and will power save you. Even thinking about alcohol makes you feel awful as you make a quiet promise to yourself that you won’t drink for months now, honestly.
Certain smells in public transport revolt you and your headache kicks in around 10am like an axe-man’s revenge.
Once at work, you try weak smiles at those who you think may be suspecting you of being hungover, although it’s pretty obvious that you are given that you’re sweating out vodka, are white faced and have the slight shakes.
Fed up of feeling nauseous, you make yourself vomit once if only to get it out. “Better out than in” you say to yourself. Feeling a bit lighter, you drink plenty of water and have a painkiller with vitamins.
Not brave enough for food, you see the day out just drinking black or herbal tea with sugar and water and slink off home early, leaving your computer on so people think you’ve stepped out for a cigarette, but not coming back until the next day.
5. The Worst Bad Hangover
The worst of the worst bad hangovers, you’ve really exceeded yourself here. Read all about the baddest of all Hangovers.